So.
Fucking.
Perfect.
I finished the class, went back to my hotel here in Beverly Hills for a 10am meditation nap (I release the idea that I can’t just go straight back to bed after Sunday morning yoga!), got up and went to the gym (weights!), did a quick sparkly-boot detour via Chanel, went to DryBar to write my blog (and, duh, hair), did a few other little errands, and now here I am.
In my chair.
Endive salad.
Grilled salmon steak.
Rose.
TIME TO WRITE THE SALES PAGE KAT!
I even posted my blog with a PS teaser about it, so now I really HAVE to. But as I sat here and pulled up a blank page, a shiver ran through me.
PURE.
COLD.
FEAR.
It spoke to me, as these things do, and what it said was, well, kind of a CUNTISH thing to say.
“Who the hell do you think you are? You’re posting about talking to GOD now? This is TOO MUCH”
The blog today was about how I spoke to God, see, and how the message that came from him was it’s time to quit denying your PURPOSE.
I definitely felt that slight self-consious feeling when I hit publish on it … I feel it anytime I really talk about God in more than a passing way.
Anyway, none of THAT should have anyfuckingthing to do with THIS, but there it was anyway –
You’re BECOMING TOO CRAZY.
Too ‘airy-fairy’.
Too, I dunno, WHIMSICAL or something. Woo-woo, I think is what I mean by that. lol. Whimsical sounds like a unicorn .. which reminds me of my new Chanel sparkly boots … where were we?!
I NEARLY FUCKING PULLED THE PLUG ON THE WHOLE THING!
I’d JUST emailed my team telling them to get ready for the sales page to hit them … asking for the banner and payment links … it was as good as LOCKED IN!
But all I could think was how UNCOMFORTABLE I felt.
A little scared … and just, kind of … squirmy. Like – get me away from here; this is TOO HARD.
It would have been so easy, too, you know?
To walk away.
Hide.
Let it be brushed under the carpet; you’d never notice, never know!
But, I would.
But, how can I write a sales page when I want to RUN FROM IT?!
And then it hit me –
The irony.